would you like you, if you meant you?

I came across this quote on Pinterest today. It really made me stop and think. The answer I came up with was a little disappointing. Right now in my life if I meant me I'm not sure If I would like me. It's nothing to do with my body type or how I look. It's the attitude I've had towards everything lately. Everything has been negative. I was thinking about the family dinner we had today. Before dinner we were talking and I was thinking about the conversation. Everything I said in that conversation was negative, rude, or mean to another person. As I thought about this I was very disappointed. Through my life I've been complimented on how positive I can be in a hard situation. But lately I have let the world and Satan get the best of me. My surgery has not been fun. I feel like I have the right to but a little upset and flustered with all of it. But I don't have to right to mop around, feel sorry for myself, and assume that everything in my life is now bad. That is not the girl that I am. We all have our days when were not ourselves. We're human and if you are one of those select people that are truly happy or positive all the time props to you! For those of you like me, keep trying to change. I know it won't happen over night but little by little change will set in and it will just become a habit!

Thoughts.

Working out was always my outlet. It's always the place where I did my best thinking, let off the most steam, and solved the worlds problems. I haven't been able to do that for a while because of my surgery. I now find myself laying in bed at night just thinking. I solve everything. From my problems to my friends problems to the worlds problems. Tonight is one of those nights. Tomorrow is New Years Eve and we our on our traditional cabin trip with my dads side of the family. There's something about the cabin that causes my mind to go wild. I've had some of my favorite memories up here. In fact this summer it was threaten by a wild fire and my whole world seemed to be crumbling at my feet. The only thing I wanted to do was come up to the cabin and sit outside with a hose to insure it wouldn't burn down. But no one would let me. Anyway tonight in particular I've been thinking about the last couple months of my life. My senior year has so far gone nothing like I had imagined and I'm just fine with that. It shows me even more and is a constant reminder that if I am living my life right things will go how they are suppose to. The thought of the future is very exciting to me. I'm not sure exactly what my plans are but the opportunities I have ahead of me are unimaginable! Today was my grandma and grandpa young's farewell they leave January 7 for there mission. It will be very strange having them gone and I will miss them so much! But I'm so happy they have the opportunity to serve and mission and I look up to them for there decision! A mission has been coming to mind a lot lately. The day they announced the change in age I was going. Then I changed my mind and I wasn't going. I'm now leaning back to going. Who knows what will happen and I'm a girl so I'm sure I'll change my mind a half a dozen more times. But I know if that's what I'm suppose to do I would love to go and I think it would be an amazing experience! Well this post really has no rhyme or reason. I just wanted to write down the thoughts I was having. I hope you all have a very happy new year! (:

You are Beautiful.

My Escape.

I'm headed here tomorrow.  This trip could not come at a better time.  The Cabin has always been my favorite place and my favorite place to escape everything and enjoy life.  Today has been rough.  I went sledding (i shouldn't have done that) which made my elbow hurt a lot.  I try my hardest not to get in a bad mood when my elbow hurts but it's almost impossible.  It makes me wonder if it was even worth having surgery.  I know it was and I'm working on changing my attitude and being thankful for the pain because it means they actually did something which means they actually fixed something.  Anyway I hope tomorrow is better. In fact it's a goal of mine tomorrow will be better. If you've had a bad day or even if you've had a good day.  Tell yourself Tomorrow will be better.  It's amazing what power your mind has if you believe in something hard enough it will happen.  

Growing up.

I remember this time last year. All my senior friends were telling me wait till you get to this time in your life next year and then tell us how it feels. I thought I was a very mature person and didn't think anything would be different. I was wrong. Christmas has made me start to realize more how fast time is moving. Every time I go to a family party the talk of a mission comes up. I will tell you I have not made up my mind and don't feel like I need to make that decision till later. What I I do know is I will be attending snow college this fall I wanted to get a semester of college in before I made any decisions. Anyway my point of this post is life moves very quickly. Don't hold back on anything enjoy everyday! For all of those saying they hate high school right now and can't wait to graduate! This is the last time you'll be in high school enjoy it! School does suck but I'm going to make the best of what I have left! Advice I would give to those just entering high school be outgoing. Most the people your around you will never see again. Be yourself. Have fun. Go on dates for FUN! Everyone in our day and age thinks that if you go on a date with someone your automatically dating them. Your NOT!! We need to get that out of our minds!! Just have fun! Talk to lots of different people. Try new things! Get stuck of roofs(maybe that's more of a summer thing). And lastly forgive and forget! I've seen and also had many friendship that are no longer as strong because people can't get over themselves or other people and forgive someone! We all make mistakes it's what helps us learn no one is perfect! I know it is easier said than done but I feel the minute I started to realize this my life was better! Everyone no matter what age you are enjoy life! It passes by way to quickly! So what if you had a bad day you and only you can determine what your day was like! It's your life! Start living it how you want it to be! (:

Christmas

This has always been one of my Christmas favorites.  As i mentioned in an earlier post as part of student council every year we sponsor an angel tree.  This year I had an experience I will never forget.  After a long night and an early morning Cassie and I set out to deliver some gifts.  We went to the different houses and gave them there gifts.  The last house we were assigned to was very special.  We knocked on the door and stood there for a while. They never answered so we went to leave just as we were pulling out the mom came running out of the house.  We pulled back in and walked up to the door we handed her the gifts and expected just a thank you and we would be on our way.  Instead she invited us into her house.  We walked in and met her little boy he was six year old and was a ball on energy. We talked with them for a while and then we decided it was time to go.  As we went to leave the little boy came up and gave us both a hug he then got tears in his eyes and said thank you for helping Santa this year and left the room.  We then turned to the mom she was crying and with gratitude in her heart explained the circumstances of her family.  Her husband had left her and she was left to provide for her kids alone.  After we talked with her for a minute we were on our way.  The rest of the day I could not stop thinking about this family.  Christmas always make me appreciate what I have so much more.  But then it's over and i forget about it all.  I hope this year I can keep the spirit of Christmas in me all year.  There has been to many times where i have been upset or felt sorry for myself for things that don't even matter.

Sacrament Meeting.

Today we had a very emotional sacrament meeting. Christmas sacrament meetings are always the best but today was extra special. The spirit felt in this meeting was unexplainable. The choir was amazing and the spirt from the music they sung is high above anything else. The speakers did a fantastic job. My dad was the last one to speak. He is the bishop of our ward and I love and respect him for that. They things he spoke of today were touchy and personal. He talked about the shooting in new town. He shared this article with us and I would like to share it with you.

It is titled. Jeff Benedict: Witnessing grief and compassion in Newtown.
And was published by the Deseret news on December 18 2012

Dave Checketts is not a professionally trained clergyman. The former chairman of Madison Square Garden and the New York Knicks is currently CEO of Legends Hospitality, the concessions and merchandise company he jointly owns with the New York Yankees and Dallas Cowboys.
But he's also a lay minister for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with oversight of 10 Mormon congregations in Fairfield County, Conn., including the one in Newtown.
On Friday morning, Checketts had left his New Canaan, Conn., home and headed to his Park Avenue office to prepare for a weekend business trip to Dallas for Sunday's Cowboys-Steelers game. He and Cowboys owner Jerry Jones planned to host a group of new investors. But late morning he got an email about a shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary. From his laptop, he accessed the church records for Mormon families in Newtown. Five of them had children that attended the school.
A series of phone calls confirmed that all of those children were accounted for except one — 6-year-old Emilie Parker, a first-grader.
Suddenly, it wasn't possible to focus on business. Checketts cleared his calendar for the afternoon.
Robbie and Alyssa Parker had just moved to Connecticut from Ogden, Utah. Along with Emilie, they have daughters ages 2 and 4. Robbie, a health care professional, worked at Danbury Hospital. When Checketts reached him there, the facility was on lockdown due to the school shooting. Robbie was heading to meet his wife at the fire station in Newtown. She was there with other parents awaiting word on the children.
Checketts emailed leaders of Mormon congregations throughout western Connecticut: "Pray for Emilie Parker."
He also organized a prayer service for that night. Then he headed back to Connecticut. He was almost to the Parkers' home when he got word that Emilie was among the 20 children who had died.
"I didn't know what to say," Checketts said. "I go back and forth between tears and anger. It is just hard to comprehend."
The business trip to Dallas got canceled. In an email, Checketts notified Jones and the investors. One by one, they expressed condolences and promised prayers.
When Checketts reached the Parker home, Robbie asked him to lead his family in prayer. While praying, Checketts felt impressed to say that Robbie would deal with his grief by speaking publicly about the tragedy, and that he would emerge as a powerful voice for compassion and peace.
After the prayer, the family's needs were discussed. Chief among them was finding a mortician. But funeral homes in the area were overwhelmed. Checketts promised to take care of everything, including all burial and funeral expenses.
He called a funeral home in a nearby town. Six years earlier, Checketts had attended a service there for a young Mormon missionary who was killed by a drunk driver in Argentina.
"I had to go tell that boy's parents that he wasn't coming home alive," Checketts said.
It was the hardest thing he'd ever done as an ecclesiastical leader. However, that experience had introduced Checketts to an empathetic funeral director.
Suddenly facing an even harder situation, Checketts reached out to him and asked if he would prepare Emily's body for burial. Checketts explained how all the expenses would be covered.
"There will be no expenses," the funeral director said.
The following day, after authorities released the names of the victims, Robbie Parker was the first parent to speak to the national media. Without notes or a spokesman, Robbie choked back tears and expressed sympathy for the family of the man who killed 27 people and himself. "I can't imagine how hard this experience must be for you," he said.
Checketts was moved to tears.
"What happened in Newtown is unthinkable," Checketts said. "But little children are alive in Christ. Though the nature of the crime is the essence of evil, our faith tells us that these children burst into the presence of God and are safe in his arms."
Grief, while heartbreaking, can also give rise to powerful acts of compassion. By the time Abraham Lincoln gave his second inaugural address on March 4, 1865, the American Civil War had claimed roughly 750,000 lives, resulting in 37,000 widows and 90,000 orphans.
Why did God allow such devastation? It was a question Lincoln had pondered. Plus, there were many in Washington who wanted to punish the Confederates for all the carnage. Against that backdrop, Lincoln said:
"With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan — to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves, and with all nations."
One month later, Lincoln was assassinated. But those words — "with malice toward none" — live on.
It reminds me of the story of Kenneth Brown, a U.S. Marine serving in Japan after the atomic bomb. It was just before Christmas when Brown encountered a Japanese professor of music who introduced himself as a Christian. He said he had a small children's choir and asked if they could perform a concert for the American soldiers.
Brown belonged to a unit of hardened fighters that had spent four years away from home, battling the Japanese from Saipan to Iwo Jima. The concert took place on Christmas Eve in a bombed-out theater. The closing number was a solo from "The Messiah" by a girl who sung with the conviction of one who knew that Jesus was indeed the Savior of mankind. The soldiers cried.
Afterward, Brown asked the Japanese music professor: "How did your group manage to survive the bomb?"
"This is only half my group," he said softly.
"And what of the families of these?"
"They nearly all lost one or more members. Some are orphans."
"What about the soloist? She must have the soul of an angel the way she sang."
"Her mother, two of her brothers were taken. Yes, she did sing well. I am so proud of her. She is my daughter."
Brown was moved to tears.
"We had caused them the greatest grief," Brown later wrote. "Yet we were their Christian brothers and as such they were willing to forget their grief and unite with us in singing 'Peace on earth, goodwill to all men.' That day I knew there was a greater power on earth than the atomic bomb."


After my bishop [dad] finished sharing this with us he went on to say that we have a choice to make. We can continue our lives bitter and mad. We can blame everything and everyone else for our problems. Or we can forgive. We can fill our hearts with gratitude. We can become more like Christ.

I know I did not do his talk justice and this is one of the times I wish I could have recorded sacrament meeting. But I hope that all of you can try to strive to become more like Christ. Life is tough and I know first hand it's so much easier to just give up be bitter and just be mad. But I know first hand also that if you can stay positive and fight through it you will be blessed.

I feel it's only proper to close this out in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Amazing.

Today I was at school for 17+ hours.

In 3rd period I learned of the tragic news of the horrible shooting. I was instantly thought of my kindergarten cousin/sister who I had just baby sat the night before. To loose her my whole world would be turned upside down my thoughts and prayers go out to all of those affected.

I continued my day with my internship where I helped a girl who has been struggling with medical problems for several months now. She has seen 9+ doctors and has had one to two doctors appt. a week along with tests and needles and other fun things like done to her while trying to go to school and live life but she can't because of constant spasms and pain, but no one knows what's wrong with her. But she keeps a smile on her face and she is always thinking of others. I could not think of a more selfless person.

My day then continues after a basketball game (which we won! Go PG!) I went to help with angel tree for student council. Every year our school helps with united way by putting together an angel tree. On the tree people come an adopt "angels" or kids who are not going to receive Christmas this year because of there family situation. People then go buy them gifts and return them to us. We then have the lovely task of sorting and delivering the gifts to the parents of the kids. Tonight as we were sorting through the gifts I started to look at what some of the kids wanted. Some of them all they wanted was a clean pair of pants and a new shirt. My heart was truly touched. And I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to be a part of this program.

Through all my experiences today I have truly been able to take a step back and see all the things I have been taking for granted in my life. Sure my life has not been ideal lately. I've been through the boy drama. Surgery has been a party. And I have defiantly had more bad days then good. But I'm grateful for days like today that put everything into perspective. I'm grateful for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And all that it has been able to help me through. What I have really gotten out of all of this is. I have a Heavenly Father and he has a plan for me. Sometimes it feels like he is doing everything to make my life miserable but then I have days like today where I see how much he does for me and all of his children. I'm so grateful for my life and everything that is happening in it. I'm grateful for my pain and suffering because it only makes me stronger. I hope that anyone struggling in anyway can have an experience like I did so they can see how amazing this life really is.

From the old blog.

This was another post I had posted elsewhere and wanted to share. Sorry for the repeat of the story but I liked the message(:


For 15 years of my life I knew three lifestyles school. gymnastics. sleep(kind of). I would also through eating in there sometimes. Now some people would go crazy doing basically the same thing everyday but I LOVED it! But in march of 2010 my world was flipped upside down. The doctors told me my elbow was messed up to the point where it would no longer be able to keep up with such an active lifestyle. So I had surgery on march 30 and started to try to figure things out. Through all the mess I tried out for the student council and made it! I also ran track and enjoyed that but nothing was more strange than coming home from school and being able to stay home and not hurry and change into a leotard grab some sort of food and run out the door. It was hard I cried a lot and at the time I never thought anything would ever get better! But my testimony grew so much and it was an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. Now even now that's hard to say but I know it happened for a reason. I've tried a lot of things well in high school I would have never had the chance let alone time to do. I tried cheer something I had been against my whole life and I found that you really can't judge a book by it's cover! And never say never. (unless it's for something bad in that case you can say never) But I do have to say it is hard to catch a break considering I go back for surgery on Tuesday I can't tell you how hard it's been to accept the fact that it's happening again and I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind a couple times of why I didn't just keep doing gym if I was going to have to have surgery again anyways but the one thing that has helped me through all this craziness the most is the fact that I have to have surgery again because I tried something new I didn't just sit back and say life is over and not do anything I stepped out of my regular comfort zone and did something I thought I never would do! Now do I know what's going to happen next nope and I'm not even going to try and guess because one thing I have learned is that right when you think you know exactly where the pitch is going to be it curves and all of a sudden your on a whole new playing field! So basically what I'm trying to say is if you can learn anything from me it is change is hard and it can be not so fun but try stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new because you can't go back in time but you can control what you do with the time you have now!

Update!

Well and now begins recovery. After about a week of pretty good pain everything is going back to normalish. I'm still casted and will be for a while. The thought of that is killing me. I'm learning to do a lot if things with one arm but it's hard! With every surgery I get more and more grateful that I was blessed with two arms. Getting back into school is stressful and the end if the term is approaching fast! But hopefully everything will come together in the end! I again am so grateful for the gospel in my life! There is so many times that I start getting down and thinking negatively but I'm so grateful for the power of the priesthood and blessings that have kept me up! I hope all of you are doing wonderfully! Tomorrow is Friday so there something to look forward too! Have a goodnight! (:

Day 3

Well today has already been rough. I actually got some sleep last night so that was good! But I woke up in a lot of pain. My nerve block is coming out today so that will be rough cause ever since surgery my arms been numb so I haven't really felt it! As the days go on it's getting harder and harder to smile but I have fantastic family and friends that have been there for me! I hope your all having a great day! Don't forget to smile! I love you all!

Surgery

Well surgery is over! They ended up having to take cartilage out of my knee and put it in my elbow so now my knee and elbow are wrapped up! I have a nerve block in my elbow so the pain level is almost none but my knee doesn't like me so much and hurts pretty bad! I know all of this happened for a reason so I'm trying to keep a smile on my face through all of it! I'll try and keep this updated everyday but don't forget to check Instagram (what_door_is_opening) for daily quotes! I hope all of you are having a fantastic day and if it's not so fantastic don't forget to remember all the good that has happened!

"thank you Mr. Gardener for loving me enough to cut me back"

check out the mormon message this week.  i don't think one as ever hit so close to home or appeared at a better time!

i don't know why. but i know it has a reason

i've never lost a loved one that i was really close to so i'm not going to even try and compare this to that but i feel the closest i've gotten is losing gymnastics.  it feels like just yesterday i was walking out of the doctor’s office in denial of what was even happening it wasn't until i had reach the gym and started to tell my team and coaches that i was done forever when it really hit.  i remember the next couple of weeks of my life were possibly the lowest i've ever been.  i had surgery and things stayed to same.  i started to get involved in other things and slowly the pain started to go away nothing could replace gymnastics but i found other things that i enjoyed that started to help my come out of my whole.  life started to look up again. i was truly happy and everything seemed to be good.

Last year after getting permission from the doctor i tried out for the cheer team.  i made it and it was the closest i had gotten to filling the whole of gymnastics.  everything seemed to be going well until the middle of the season.  i started noticing my elbow more and the pain grew with each day.  i again returned to the doctor and it was decided i would need surgery at the end of the season.  i went through the rest of the cheer season living on pain medication, ice, and pure mental toughness.  i had surgery again and started to my recovery.  i tried out for the team again hoping for another year just like the last.  i made the team and things were good.  as practices started to pick up again my elbow sure enough started to hurt.  for a while i hoped it was just pain from not doing anything on it for so long but as time went on it began to appear the pain was not going away.  to the doctors i went and the bad news kept rolling in i had to quite the cheer team and surgery would be needed again.  another door had closed in my life.

tomorrow that door closes completely in my life.  i will again have surgery i don't know why i have to face this trial again for the third time but i'm determined to find the reason.  i know that everything has a purpose.  the next couple weeks of my life are not going to be the easiest.  i know that at times i'm going to feel like i've lost everything. but i hope that i can look back at this and know that it is blessing me.  with this i say to anyone struggling with any door that is closing or any tough time to know that you are not alone.  i bear my testimony of the power of prayer.  it can help you so much and it can make the worst of days seem bright.  life isn't always easy and if it was life just wouldn't be any fun.  i know the priesthood was put on this earth for us.  it has been such a blessing in my life and i'm so grateful i have it in my home.  lastly to anyone that feels lost always know that heavenly father is always there for you.  he doesn't like to see us suffer just as much as we don't like to go through it.  but he only does it because he loves us and wants us to be able to live with him again. which if you put it in perspective is the greatest blessing of all so hang in there and he will bless you!

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

Follow on Instagram!

What_door_is_opening

where will i be in five years?

i don't know why somethings happen in our lives.  i don't know why i've had to deal with elbow pain for so long and why it's not fixed yet.  i can honestly say i don't know what tomorrow has in store for me.  over the years it's gotten harder and harder to follow what i knows is right because at times it's hard.  but what fun would life be if everything went exactly how we planned.  i found a paper i wrote in young women's a couple year ago. it say where will i be in five years?  on it i had a written a list of things that i would be preparing for at this time in my life. 1. i will be a senior graduating from high school. true i am a senior and i hopefully will be graduating if i can forget about my senoritas and go to school on time. 2. i will be looking forward to going to byu hopefully on a gymnastics scholarship. false. i am not going to byu and i am not getting a scholarship for gymnastics. after i read that line i started to get really angry.  i've always struggled with this.  why was something that was such a big part of my life taken away from me at such a young age?  i was told all growing up that if you write it down and set it as a goal you can accomplish it. so what happened? i wrote it down and i was working hard to make sure it would happen.  the only explanation i can give myself and that has been given to me is best explained in what has come to be my favorite scripture.  ...believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend. (Mosiah 4:9) 3. living life to the fullest. i can answer that true or false.  but i hope that in the next couple months i can changed that kind of to yes.  don't get me wrong i have fun and i'm enjoying being a teenager but i feel in order for me to be living my life to the fullest i need to stop getting caught up in some many materialistic things of the world and focusing more on what truly matters. 4. preparing myself to enter into an eternal marriage  you can obviously tell i wrote this as a beehive and for some reason in the young womens program they feel the need to have everyone other lesson on marriage.  but it one day i hope to get married in the temple and have a family.  i don't know when that will be i don't plan on it being any time soon but i do need to prepare myself now so when the time comes i'll be ready. but for anyone freaking out i promise i do not plan on getting married soon give it a couple years. if i go with what my dad wishes give it until i'm 40 after all boys have cuties right? In the end if you don't get anything else from this post just know that you should always have a plan for where and what you want to do in life but just know if it's not what's suppose to be happening he will find a way to change it.  i know that everything does happen for a reason we are so loved and watched over we have no need to fear!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope all you have had an amazing thanksgiving day so far! Don't forget to count all your blessing and remember how much you truly are grateful for! Here's a little story I found on Pinterest! It's long but completely worth reading! (:

Becoming a Missionary

With the announcement of the new missionary age my thoughts started to change.  I don't know if i will serve a mission in the next couple of years or if i will wait and serve with my spouse.  But just do be sure I'm ready I've started to prepare now.  As I've been thinking about what i want to do with my life after high school i found this talk by Elder Bednar.  It was given in the priesthood session a couple year ago so it is directed to the priesthood but as a girl i found it useful also.  In the talk he empathizes that we need to become a missionary rather than go on a mission.  He says "...it is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions.  The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become"  For now i don't know what the next couple of years hold for me.  But i do know that i can start becoming a missionary now.  For then if the time is right i will have already become a missionary.

Trek

This summer I had to opportunity to ditch the swimsuit and suntanning cream and get the long skirts and bonnets on and go on a reenactment of the mormon pioneer trek. At first I was against it completely I had the worst attitude ever I'm sad to say but I even considered breaking my own foot so i didn't have to go. As you can tell I really didn't want to go. I'm telling you now though it was the best thing I did all summer. The first day was tough but it wasn't till the first morning when things changed and trek got a lot more personal. [i have to give you some background real quick before I continue just a year earlier my stake went through major redistricting in all our wards I was taken out of the ward I had grew up in and placed in a new ward with almost no youth and to make things even better my dad was made the bishop. I again had a very bad attitude about it and was still struggling with it] anyway that morning I woke up we packed up all our things loaded our handcart and then headed over to breakfast we ate and started to get ready to head out for the day. I was tired but a game of steal the flag had broken out and I'm a very competitive person so I was focused on the next flag to get. All of a sudden the world seemed to stop. They gathered us all together for what we thought was going to be a normal short devotional and then we'd head out. But as President Walker began to speak his voice was different he proceeded to announce that a 19 year old boy, in my ward, who had just received his mission call had died. He came from a larger family and had two brothers who were on the trek with us. I was brought to tears at the sound of the announcement and right then my trek experienced was changed. We all knelt and prayed. Everyone then started back to there trek families but my ward gathered together at first no one was saying anything we all just hugged and cried together. After a while we all put our arms around each other and said a ward prayer I don't remember much that was said in the prayer but I do remember that it truly felt like Angels were surrounding us. We continued our trek that day. There was more of a calmness to all the handcarts we sang church hymns and shared different experiences. That day of trekking was suppose to be the most challenging. But I think everyone would agree the spirit was so strong our handcarts were being pulled for us. Trek went on and there was other cool experiences that happens. But that by far was the biggest thing that really started to put things in perspective to me. It was one of those blessing I saw from the ward switch. If the wards would have never split I would never have been able to have to opportunity it was one of the reassuring blessing to show me that everything truly does have a purpose.

Re-Post March 1st

[I posted this on my other blog a couple months ago but wanted to share it with all of you. I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes!]

11 years ago today my baby brother was born. I don't remember much about that day besides staying at my grandmas house waiting for the phone to ring to make the announcement that I had a new baby brother

Four years ago today I can remember quite clearly it was a Saturday I had slept in and it was just my mom and I at home my dad and brothers had taken the scouts to the cabin. When I woke up I remembered it was my brothers birthday and I decided to be a good sister and decorate the house with happy birthday signs and number 7's. The day went on and the boys arrived home later in the evening they got all there gear in the house and then my dad ask Stockton if he had told us what had happened to him Stockton obviously had not and what my dad told us next came a very big shock.

he then went on to explain how the snow on the roof of the cabin had not fallen off this year leaving about four to five feet on the roof just waiting to come down. Anyway they had just returned to cabin and Stockton went to walk into the cabin when everything started to shake and there was a big clash and the four feet of snow(mostly ice) fell onto my seven year old brother. Luckily by a miracle everyone was outside and knew exactly what had happened everyone dropped what they were doing and ran to the pile to start undigging my little brother. As my dad explains he felt like minutes were flying by as they tried to reach him calling "were coming Stockton" and "hold on we're almost there" needless to say the reached him in about a minute. And we're able to uncover him with miraculous no injuries or problems. After they had gotten him out and were checking him and the area around him some with bloody hands jackets roped and a lot of boys who five minutes ago were laughing in the snow and now standing in silence not know what to say or do. The day then went on and the trip went on as planned. But something that really touched me was what my brother said when we asked him if he was scared and he said "no because I could hear you calling me and saying you were coming" the words of my seven year old brother have stuck with me for the past few years and I always think to myself when I'm going through a hard time or feel like I'm buried under piles of ice and snow that there's always someone on top yelling my name and saying there coming and don't give up because there almost there!

As I listen to my dad recall the story of what had happened just a few short hours earlier and how this day could be a lot different if everything had not fallen into place some would say it's luck but I don't think anything happens by luck or chance. Everything happens for a reason and we might not know why it is happening but it's for a reason and if you don't live everyday to the fullest you never know what you could have accomplished! And you never know when your not going to be able to get the opportunity. So live life to the fullest!

And always appreciate what you have love you family, friends, enemies, and anyone else you come in contact with!

What Matters Most?

I've written draft and draft of different post about life and trials and roller-coasters? But none of them felt right. I started this blog for myself. I started it so I could pick myself up. So I could recorded different events in my life. I started it because I wanted to strength my testimony. I want all of you to know that I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am a Latter Day Saint and I know that I would be lost without the gospel in my life. I love my father in heaven and know that he is always there for me. I'm so grateful I have the Holy Ghost as a constant companion to help me in my life. I know that we have leaders on the earth today to guide us and teach us what we need to know to live with our father in heaven again. I testify that I don't know why I have to go through so of the things that i go through. But I can tell out that it all has a purpose and reason and I'm striving to live my best so that I can know that reason someday. I'm so grateful for a loving family on the earth today. I have amazing parents that are some of the most selfless people I know. They have done so much for me and I truly would not be who I am today without them. I know that anyone that I associate with in my life is not out there by an accident. I have something to learn from each and everyone of them. I love my savior. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true.

Never Give Up

Life is hard! But it's all worth it in the end! Sometimes you just need to take a step and look around at all the good that is happening! If that's not possible do all that you can do and then turn to The Lord he is always there for you! It might feel like you can't take it anymore but I know you can he knows you can! Put one foot in front of the other and just keep pushing on! (:

BYU Basketball

In honor of BYU's home opener tomorrow.  I really love when he says that people ask me if the decisions to go on a mission was hard and he says it would be if i was making the decisions now but i had already knew what my decisions was a long time ago..  I hope to make it my goal with anything in life to not even have to think twice and always know what the right thing is I'm suppose to be doing.

hard day.

today i scheduled my surgery.  I thought that i was fine and all of a sudden everything started to hit me.  All the pain associated with it.  The fact that i wouldn't be able to tumble for months and possibly forever.  I started getting really down.  I started to think very negatively.  I wish i could tell you i snapped right out of it and everything is okay now, but life doesn't work that way.  There is something i'm suppose to be learning from all of this.  In life there is always something we could be learning if we look for it!  But for me most of the time it's having the right attitude and being willing to look for the good.  We all have those days where everything seems to be negative.  I know that i do and they suck, but i challenge you if you ever have a day like that to look back on it and find something  good that happened even if it's small.  You'll find that i love quotes and sometimes when you have a day like i had today i just hop on pinterest and read quotes. Life is hard and i'm not about to tell you it's not.  It's hard to say that everything happens for a reason when you don't know what that reason is.  I don't know how many times i've wanted to just fast forward life just so i can see what happens in the end.  Unfortuantly if doesn't work that way.  So for all of you stuggling with anything i know your problems are far worse than mine. But just know it can't be bad forever.  You are never alone.  You might feel like no one knows how you feel or no one knows how to help you.  And that might be the case.  But someone is always willing to listen to you.  If you don't feel like you can talk to anyone there is always your heavenly father and he has felt your pain and will help you.  

Be Strong, I Know who I Am

At girls camp this year i was asked to give a devotional one of the nights.  My topic was Self Worth.  As i was researching this topic i found this video.  I wanted to share it with all of you even if your not a girl it applies to all of us.   I hope you know that you are all loved, your father in heaven loves you and is eagerly waiting to help you with anything you are going through!  Please don't feel alone in anything you go through someone else is always struggling with you.  You are a son/daughter of god and he loves you!

Judging

In life we are always told. don't gossip, don't talk bad about other people, and most importantly don't judge others by there apperance or what you have heard about them from someone else. I have always tried to apply this principle in my life, but it's never hit so close to home until the last couple weeks.  I have been lucky enough in high school to pretty much avoid drama.  Now there was always some drama but mostly it got resloved and it was just between a small group of people.  But in this last month i found myself the center of the high school gossip.  It was werid for me and at first i did a good job at not listening to what other poeple thought.  It sucked but I was strong enough to turn the other check.  But after a while it started getting really hard to avoid it wasn't just at school anymore it was through the internet and my phone.  People who i thought were my good friends were turning on me it was ruining friendship I had had with people for a long time and it was hard.  It really made me start to think about everything that I said about another person.  Anyway what i'm trying to say here is.  Judging and Gossip can really hurt.  I was lucky enough to have good family and friends to help me through it but others aren't so lucky! To some people it messes up there whole life to the point where they feel like it's not worth living anymore! So i'm asking you please think twice before you forward that text or share the latest story you've heard.   

background

About a week ago i received the new that i would be receiving my third surgery on my elbow.  I had mixed emotions as i received the news.  I was happy that the pain i had been dealing with for the last couple years of my life could possibly go away.  But i was also flustered that i was going to have to go through all this again.  The pain medication, rehab, casts, slings, and braces seemed overwhelming.  Over the last week i contemplate it a lot and the topic crossed my mind a couple times a day.  I finally came to the conclusion that i was being stupid and there was no reason i should be feeling sorry for myself.  I then asked what was the one thing i regretted most that i didn't do with my prior surgeries and that was sharing what i was going through with everyone else.  So i came upon the idea i had been wanting to do for a while and that was starting a blog.  I hope that through this i can recorded all the blessings i see in my life while helping others who might be struggling with similar trials.