where will i be in five years?

i don't know why somethings happen in our lives.  i don't know why i've had to deal with elbow pain for so long and why it's not fixed yet.  i can honestly say i don't know what tomorrow has in store for me.  over the years it's gotten harder and harder to follow what i knows is right because at times it's hard.  but what fun would life be if everything went exactly how we planned.  i found a paper i wrote in young women's a couple year ago. it say where will i be in five years?  on it i had a written a list of things that i would be preparing for at this time in my life. 1. i will be a senior graduating from high school. true i am a senior and i hopefully will be graduating if i can forget about my senoritas and go to school on time. 2. i will be looking forward to going to byu hopefully on a gymnastics scholarship. false. i am not going to byu and i am not getting a scholarship for gymnastics. after i read that line i started to get really angry.  i've always struggled with this.  why was something that was such a big part of my life taken away from me at such a young age?  i was told all growing up that if you write it down and set it as a goal you can accomplish it. so what happened? i wrote it down and i was working hard to make sure it would happen.  the only explanation i can give myself and that has been given to me is best explained in what has come to be my favorite scripture.  ...believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend. (Mosiah 4:9) 3. living life to the fullest. i can answer that true or false.  but i hope that in the next couple months i can changed that kind of to yes.  don't get me wrong i have fun and i'm enjoying being a teenager but i feel in order for me to be living my life to the fullest i need to stop getting caught up in some many materialistic things of the world and focusing more on what truly matters. 4. preparing myself to enter into an eternal marriage  you can obviously tell i wrote this as a beehive and for some reason in the young womens program they feel the need to have everyone other lesson on marriage.  but it one day i hope to get married in the temple and have a family.  i don't know when that will be i don't plan on it being any time soon but i do need to prepare myself now so when the time comes i'll be ready. but for anyone freaking out i promise i do not plan on getting married soon give it a couple years. if i go with what my dad wishes give it until i'm 40 after all boys have cuties right? In the end if you don't get anything else from this post just know that you should always have a plan for where and what you want to do in life but just know if it's not what's suppose to be happening he will find a way to change it.  i know that everything does happen for a reason we are so loved and watched over we have no need to fear!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope all you have had an amazing thanksgiving day so far! Don't forget to count all your blessing and remember how much you truly are grateful for! Here's a little story I found on Pinterest! It's long but completely worth reading! (:

Becoming a Missionary

With the announcement of the new missionary age my thoughts started to change.  I don't know if i will serve a mission in the next couple of years or if i will wait and serve with my spouse.  But just do be sure I'm ready I've started to prepare now.  As I've been thinking about what i want to do with my life after high school i found this talk by Elder Bednar.  It was given in the priesthood session a couple year ago so it is directed to the priesthood but as a girl i found it useful also.  In the talk he empathizes that we need to become a missionary rather than go on a mission.  He says "...it is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions.  The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become"  For now i don't know what the next couple of years hold for me.  But i do know that i can start becoming a missionary now.  For then if the time is right i will have already become a missionary.

Trek

This summer I had to opportunity to ditch the swimsuit and suntanning cream and get the long skirts and bonnets on and go on a reenactment of the mormon pioneer trek. At first I was against it completely I had the worst attitude ever I'm sad to say but I even considered breaking my own foot so i didn't have to go. As you can tell I really didn't want to go. I'm telling you now though it was the best thing I did all summer. The first day was tough but it wasn't till the first morning when things changed and trek got a lot more personal. [i have to give you some background real quick before I continue just a year earlier my stake went through major redistricting in all our wards I was taken out of the ward I had grew up in and placed in a new ward with almost no youth and to make things even better my dad was made the bishop. I again had a very bad attitude about it and was still struggling with it] anyway that morning I woke up we packed up all our things loaded our handcart and then headed over to breakfast we ate and started to get ready to head out for the day. I was tired but a game of steal the flag had broken out and I'm a very competitive person so I was focused on the next flag to get. All of a sudden the world seemed to stop. They gathered us all together for what we thought was going to be a normal short devotional and then we'd head out. But as President Walker began to speak his voice was different he proceeded to announce that a 19 year old boy, in my ward, who had just received his mission call had died. He came from a larger family and had two brothers who were on the trek with us. I was brought to tears at the sound of the announcement and right then my trek experienced was changed. We all knelt and prayed. Everyone then started back to there trek families but my ward gathered together at first no one was saying anything we all just hugged and cried together. After a while we all put our arms around each other and said a ward prayer I don't remember much that was said in the prayer but I do remember that it truly felt like Angels were surrounding us. We continued our trek that day. There was more of a calmness to all the handcarts we sang church hymns and shared different experiences. That day of trekking was suppose to be the most challenging. But I think everyone would agree the spirit was so strong our handcarts were being pulled for us. Trek went on and there was other cool experiences that happens. But that by far was the biggest thing that really started to put things in perspective to me. It was one of those blessing I saw from the ward switch. If the wards would have never split I would never have been able to have to opportunity it was one of the reassuring blessing to show me that everything truly does have a purpose.

Re-Post March 1st

[I posted this on my other blog a couple months ago but wanted to share it with all of you. I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes!]

11 years ago today my baby brother was born. I don't remember much about that day besides staying at my grandmas house waiting for the phone to ring to make the announcement that I had a new baby brother

Four years ago today I can remember quite clearly it was a Saturday I had slept in and it was just my mom and I at home my dad and brothers had taken the scouts to the cabin. When I woke up I remembered it was my brothers birthday and I decided to be a good sister and decorate the house with happy birthday signs and number 7's. The day went on and the boys arrived home later in the evening they got all there gear in the house and then my dad ask Stockton if he had told us what had happened to him Stockton obviously had not and what my dad told us next came a very big shock.

he then went on to explain how the snow on the roof of the cabin had not fallen off this year leaving about four to five feet on the roof just waiting to come down. Anyway they had just returned to cabin and Stockton went to walk into the cabin when everything started to shake and there was a big clash and the four feet of snow(mostly ice) fell onto my seven year old brother. Luckily by a miracle everyone was outside and knew exactly what had happened everyone dropped what they were doing and ran to the pile to start undigging my little brother. As my dad explains he felt like minutes were flying by as they tried to reach him calling "were coming Stockton" and "hold on we're almost there" needless to say the reached him in about a minute. And we're able to uncover him with miraculous no injuries or problems. After they had gotten him out and were checking him and the area around him some with bloody hands jackets roped and a lot of boys who five minutes ago were laughing in the snow and now standing in silence not know what to say or do. The day then went on and the trip went on as planned. But something that really touched me was what my brother said when we asked him if he was scared and he said "no because I could hear you calling me and saying you were coming" the words of my seven year old brother have stuck with me for the past few years and I always think to myself when I'm going through a hard time or feel like I'm buried under piles of ice and snow that there's always someone on top yelling my name and saying there coming and don't give up because there almost there!

As I listen to my dad recall the story of what had happened just a few short hours earlier and how this day could be a lot different if everything had not fallen into place some would say it's luck but I don't think anything happens by luck or chance. Everything happens for a reason and we might not know why it is happening but it's for a reason and if you don't live everyday to the fullest you never know what you could have accomplished! And you never know when your not going to be able to get the opportunity. So live life to the fullest!

And always appreciate what you have love you family, friends, enemies, and anyone else you come in contact with!

What Matters Most?

I've written draft and draft of different post about life and trials and roller-coasters? But none of them felt right. I started this blog for myself. I started it so I could pick myself up. So I could recorded different events in my life. I started it because I wanted to strength my testimony. I want all of you to know that I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am a Latter Day Saint and I know that I would be lost without the gospel in my life. I love my father in heaven and know that he is always there for me. I'm so grateful I have the Holy Ghost as a constant companion to help me in my life. I know that we have leaders on the earth today to guide us and teach us what we need to know to live with our father in heaven again. I testify that I don't know why I have to go through so of the things that i go through. But I can tell out that it all has a purpose and reason and I'm striving to live my best so that I can know that reason someday. I'm so grateful for a loving family on the earth today. I have amazing parents that are some of the most selfless people I know. They have done so much for me and I truly would not be who I am today without them. I know that anyone that I associate with in my life is not out there by an accident. I have something to learn from each and everyone of them. I love my savior. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true.

Never Give Up

Life is hard! But it's all worth it in the end! Sometimes you just need to take a step and look around at all the good that is happening! If that's not possible do all that you can do and then turn to The Lord he is always there for you! It might feel like you can't take it anymore but I know you can he knows you can! Put one foot in front of the other and just keep pushing on! (:

BYU Basketball

In honor of BYU's home opener tomorrow.  I really love when he says that people ask me if the decisions to go on a mission was hard and he says it would be if i was making the decisions now but i had already knew what my decisions was a long time ago..  I hope to make it my goal with anything in life to not even have to think twice and always know what the right thing is I'm suppose to be doing.

hard day.

today i scheduled my surgery.  I thought that i was fine and all of a sudden everything started to hit me.  All the pain associated with it.  The fact that i wouldn't be able to tumble for months and possibly forever.  I started getting really down.  I started to think very negatively.  I wish i could tell you i snapped right out of it and everything is okay now, but life doesn't work that way.  There is something i'm suppose to be learning from all of this.  In life there is always something we could be learning if we look for it!  But for me most of the time it's having the right attitude and being willing to look for the good.  We all have those days where everything seems to be negative.  I know that i do and they suck, but i challenge you if you ever have a day like that to look back on it and find something  good that happened even if it's small.  You'll find that i love quotes and sometimes when you have a day like i had today i just hop on pinterest and read quotes. Life is hard and i'm not about to tell you it's not.  It's hard to say that everything happens for a reason when you don't know what that reason is.  I don't know how many times i've wanted to just fast forward life just so i can see what happens in the end.  Unfortuantly if doesn't work that way.  So for all of you stuggling with anything i know your problems are far worse than mine. But just know it can't be bad forever.  You are never alone.  You might feel like no one knows how you feel or no one knows how to help you.  And that might be the case.  But someone is always willing to listen to you.  If you don't feel like you can talk to anyone there is always your heavenly father and he has felt your pain and will help you.  

Be Strong, I Know who I Am

At girls camp this year i was asked to give a devotional one of the nights.  My topic was Self Worth.  As i was researching this topic i found this video.  I wanted to share it with all of you even if your not a girl it applies to all of us.   I hope you know that you are all loved, your father in heaven loves you and is eagerly waiting to help you with anything you are going through!  Please don't feel alone in anything you go through someone else is always struggling with you.  You are a son/daughter of god and he loves you!

Judging

In life we are always told. don't gossip, don't talk bad about other people, and most importantly don't judge others by there apperance or what you have heard about them from someone else. I have always tried to apply this principle in my life, but it's never hit so close to home until the last couple weeks.  I have been lucky enough in high school to pretty much avoid drama.  Now there was always some drama but mostly it got resloved and it was just between a small group of people.  But in this last month i found myself the center of the high school gossip.  It was werid for me and at first i did a good job at not listening to what other poeple thought.  It sucked but I was strong enough to turn the other check.  But after a while it started getting really hard to avoid it wasn't just at school anymore it was through the internet and my phone.  People who i thought were my good friends were turning on me it was ruining friendship I had had with people for a long time and it was hard.  It really made me start to think about everything that I said about another person.  Anyway what i'm trying to say here is.  Judging and Gossip can really hurt.  I was lucky enough to have good family and friends to help me through it but others aren't so lucky! To some people it messes up there whole life to the point where they feel like it's not worth living anymore! So i'm asking you please think twice before you forward that text or share the latest story you've heard.   

background

About a week ago i received the new that i would be receiving my third surgery on my elbow.  I had mixed emotions as i received the news.  I was happy that the pain i had been dealing with for the last couple years of my life could possibly go away.  But i was also flustered that i was going to have to go through all this again.  The pain medication, rehab, casts, slings, and braces seemed overwhelming.  Over the last week i contemplate it a lot and the topic crossed my mind a couple times a day.  I finally came to the conclusion that i was being stupid and there was no reason i should be feeling sorry for myself.  I then asked what was the one thing i regretted most that i didn't do with my prior surgeries and that was sharing what i was going through with everyone else.  So i came upon the idea i had been wanting to do for a while and that was starting a blog.  I hope that through this i can recorded all the blessings i see in my life while helping others who might be struggling with similar trials.