From the old blog.

This was another post I had posted elsewhere and wanted to share. Sorry for the repeat of the story but I liked the message(:


For 15 years of my life I knew three lifestyles school. gymnastics. sleep(kind of). I would also through eating in there sometimes. Now some people would go crazy doing basically the same thing everyday but I LOVED it! But in march of 2010 my world was flipped upside down. The doctors told me my elbow was messed up to the point where it would no longer be able to keep up with such an active lifestyle. So I had surgery on march 30 and started to try to figure things out. Through all the mess I tried out for the student council and made it! I also ran track and enjoyed that but nothing was more strange than coming home from school and being able to stay home and not hurry and change into a leotard grab some sort of food and run out the door. It was hard I cried a lot and at the time I never thought anything would ever get better! But my testimony grew so much and it was an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. Now even now that's hard to say but I know it happened for a reason. I've tried a lot of things well in high school I would have never had the chance let alone time to do. I tried cheer something I had been against my whole life and I found that you really can't judge a book by it's cover! And never say never. (unless it's for something bad in that case you can say never) But I do have to say it is hard to catch a break considering I go back for surgery on Tuesday I can't tell you how hard it's been to accept the fact that it's happening again and I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind a couple times of why I didn't just keep doing gym if I was going to have to have surgery again anyways but the one thing that has helped me through all this craziness the most is the fact that I have to have surgery again because I tried something new I didn't just sit back and say life is over and not do anything I stepped out of my regular comfort zone and did something I thought I never would do! Now do I know what's going to happen next nope and I'm not even going to try and guess because one thing I have learned is that right when you think you know exactly where the pitch is going to be it curves and all of a sudden your on a whole new playing field! So basically what I'm trying to say is if you can learn anything from me it is change is hard and it can be not so fun but try stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new because you can't go back in time but you can control what you do with the time you have now!

Update!

Well and now begins recovery. After about a week of pretty good pain everything is going back to normalish. I'm still casted and will be for a while. The thought of that is killing me. I'm learning to do a lot if things with one arm but it's hard! With every surgery I get more and more grateful that I was blessed with two arms. Getting back into school is stressful and the end if the term is approaching fast! But hopefully everything will come together in the end! I again am so grateful for the gospel in my life! There is so many times that I start getting down and thinking negatively but I'm so grateful for the power of the priesthood and blessings that have kept me up! I hope all of you are doing wonderfully! Tomorrow is Friday so there something to look forward too! Have a goodnight! (:

Day 3

Well today has already been rough. I actually got some sleep last night so that was good! But I woke up in a lot of pain. My nerve block is coming out today so that will be rough cause ever since surgery my arms been numb so I haven't really felt it! As the days go on it's getting harder and harder to smile but I have fantastic family and friends that have been there for me! I hope your all having a great day! Don't forget to smile! I love you all!

Surgery

Well surgery is over! They ended up having to take cartilage out of my knee and put it in my elbow so now my knee and elbow are wrapped up! I have a nerve block in my elbow so the pain level is almost none but my knee doesn't like me so much and hurts pretty bad! I know all of this happened for a reason so I'm trying to keep a smile on my face through all of it! I'll try and keep this updated everyday but don't forget to check Instagram (what_door_is_opening) for daily quotes! I hope all of you are having a fantastic day and if it's not so fantastic don't forget to remember all the good that has happened!

"thank you Mr. Gardener for loving me enough to cut me back"

check out the mormon message this week.  i don't think one as ever hit so close to home or appeared at a better time!

i don't know why. but i know it has a reason

i've never lost a loved one that i was really close to so i'm not going to even try and compare this to that but i feel the closest i've gotten is losing gymnastics.  it feels like just yesterday i was walking out of the doctor’s office in denial of what was even happening it wasn't until i had reach the gym and started to tell my team and coaches that i was done forever when it really hit.  i remember the next couple of weeks of my life were possibly the lowest i've ever been.  i had surgery and things stayed to same.  i started to get involved in other things and slowly the pain started to go away nothing could replace gymnastics but i found other things that i enjoyed that started to help my come out of my whole.  life started to look up again. i was truly happy and everything seemed to be good.

Last year after getting permission from the doctor i tried out for the cheer team.  i made it and it was the closest i had gotten to filling the whole of gymnastics.  everything seemed to be going well until the middle of the season.  i started noticing my elbow more and the pain grew with each day.  i again returned to the doctor and it was decided i would need surgery at the end of the season.  i went through the rest of the cheer season living on pain medication, ice, and pure mental toughness.  i had surgery again and started to my recovery.  i tried out for the team again hoping for another year just like the last.  i made the team and things were good.  as practices started to pick up again my elbow sure enough started to hurt.  for a while i hoped it was just pain from not doing anything on it for so long but as time went on it began to appear the pain was not going away.  to the doctors i went and the bad news kept rolling in i had to quite the cheer team and surgery would be needed again.  another door had closed in my life.

tomorrow that door closes completely in my life.  i will again have surgery i don't know why i have to face this trial again for the third time but i'm determined to find the reason.  i know that everything has a purpose.  the next couple weeks of my life are not going to be the easiest.  i know that at times i'm going to feel like i've lost everything. but i hope that i can look back at this and know that it is blessing me.  with this i say to anyone struggling with any door that is closing or any tough time to know that you are not alone.  i bear my testimony of the power of prayer.  it can help you so much and it can make the worst of days seem bright.  life isn't always easy and if it was life just wouldn't be any fun.  i know the priesthood was put on this earth for us.  it has been such a blessing in my life and i'm so grateful i have it in my home.  lastly to anyone that feels lost always know that heavenly father is always there for you.  he doesn't like to see us suffer just as much as we don't like to go through it.  but he only does it because he loves us and wants us to be able to live with him again. which if you put it in perspective is the greatest blessing of all so hang in there and he will bless you!

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

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