Our Happily Ever After

Hi.  It’s been a while.  If you only keep up with me through the blogging world (which I’m sure is basically none of you haha) I’m married! Have been for just over a year and I decided it was about time to share our story with you. Better late than never right?!

I’m going to add a disclaimer/warning now. I am in no way shape or form an English major or professional blogger. So I apologize now if you are one of those things and the way I write or the punctuation I use is incorrect. You’re welcome to stop reading now.

January 2016 my brother came home from an off season baseball practice and informed us one of his baseball coaches, Coach Rock, had gotten a divorce after only being married a few short months. My family all offered their sadness seeing as they had all gotten to know him well. I on the other hand had been away serving an LDS mission and was hearing his name for the first time so to offer some comedic relief to the conversation I said, “well is he cute?” Expecting some jokes and laughs back my brother replied, “when he’s got a hat on…he’s bald haha.”  On the other hand my parents were both really quick to chime in and add there stamp of approval despite the baldness haha. I at this time was obviously joking and was in no way shape or form interested in dating.(see previous posts about dates on this blog and you’ll understand why). Anyway that short conversation came and went and two months passed by.

We were now nearing the start of one of the greatest seasons of the year. Baseball season. To kick it off was the annual PG High baseball auction fundraiser. At the end of the night during the live auction portion the head coach wanted to auction a date with me off. I was very very against this and luckily my mom saved me by saying “we just need to set her up on a date with Coach Rock instead.” Both of them were all over this and before I knew it, a picture taken of me(against my will), and my number, were sent to him. To say the least I was furious with my mom when I received a text from him later that night.

To make a longish story shorter we talked on the phone and texted for a while and then about a week later I reluctantly went on a date with him. While the date went well besides the fact that I bowled like a 75 and he bowled close to 300 (no lie) the night also ended with the remainder of my shake spilled all over my pants while getting out of the car... But after walking inside I texted my mom and said, “we have a problem, I had fun.”

 Little did I know that in a few shorts months, three to be exact, “Coach Rock” would become my husband.

After only one more date we started to talk about marriage (Crazy I know) Stephen had been accepted into medical school at Des Moines University and was planning to move there in August so we say that sped things up a bit but it was one of those times that people talk about that “you just know.”

After throwing dates around for a while we agreed on the end of June so that family members that were leaving the start of July could be there.

The wedding craze began and I forgot about school…still sorry about that mom and dad, but in my defense I didn’t fail any classes, just came close.

Now to the part that honestly I’m really writing this whole thing for. Over the last year I’ve sat down and written different things and none of them seemed right. I never posted anything I was honestly just figuring it all out in my mind. I’m still not sure I have it all figured out (do we ever) but I have enough figured out that I’ve been prompted to share some.

Remember at the start of this whole story. Remember the baldness? Haha just kidding, he is bald, but with or without the hat he’s cute to me. No what I’m talking about is the divorce. I don’t plan to focus on that, analyze why it didn’t work, go through every little detail, it just didn’t work out. I’ve asked my questions he’s been very open with me and that’s in the past. What makes our story a little different is the temple.

In our religion we believe that marriage is not just “till death to we part” but “for time and all eternity.” This is possible when a man and a women are sealed/married in the house of the Lord(temple) with the authority(priesthood) from God.

This is what we both believe and know to this day. Our entire twenty some years of life we had worked for this and I was preparing to marry him in the temple. Now because this is such a sacred promise we make with God, it’s taken very seriously in the church. We consider temples very sacred and special places to us, so to enter the temple you are interviewed by your local priesthood leaders and found worthy to enter the temple.

I could go on and on about the temple all day and am very happy to answer any questions you may have, but to save some time I’ll stop there.

Well since Stephen had been previously married in the temple and that promise made with God is very sacred and special to us and our church, we had to go through some extra steps to receive the stamp of approval for our marriage to take place in the house of the Lord.

This involved many interviews and meetings with local leaders in our church as well as submitting a request to the Prophet of our church for us to be married/sealed in the temple. This process was not easy. There was many trying times, tears shed, questions asked and when it came down to it our request to be married in the temple on June 21, 2016 was denied.  We were asked to wait a year and reapply.

This was obviously a very trying time. We found out 4 days before our wedding was to take place and lots of decisions were to be made.

Our church was in no way telling us not to get married, they were just saying we needed to wait a year for the “all eternity” part to happen(or so I thought…stay tuned). So with some questions, some tears, but lots of happiness, we were married on June 21, 2016 at the cutest reception center surrounded by loving family and friends.

Life went on we were happy. We moved to this state called Iowa and began this crazy medical school adventure. We learned what living on our own was like and continued to see the blessings of attending church, paying tithing, and keeping our personal testimonies in check.

I really didn’t have much to complain about with life, besides my husband studying all the time.

But as most human beings would I honestly felt like I had done wrong somehow. I would go to church and help teach the youth “families can be together forever” and fight back tears while I did because I felt like I hadn’t fulfilled that. I’d go to a lesson at church and hear these people testify of the blessings of being sealed in the temple, and then I’d want to hide because I hadn’t done that. It seemed like every other week we’d sing the song “I love to see the temple, I’m going there some day” and I wouldn’t even be able to sing because I’d cry if I did.

I obviously needed some talking, reevaluating, and testimony building.

So I did the best I could to keep up with my personal study of the gospel. I offered many prayers to my Heavenly Father. We attended the temple monthly where I would “chat” with my Heavenly Father and see where I was, where I needed to go, and who I needed to help. But to be honest a lot of this was just going through the motions.

I would find times where I was very upset with God. I still believed and knew the church was true, but I was a bit confused.

Time went on. I have an amazing husband who made me so happy and was there for all the tears. The time came to meet with our local leaders and begin the process of receiving a sealing clearance yet again. All the emotions flooded back in and I honestly didn’t know how I was going to find the strength to hear the stories again.

But our Heavenly Father loves us. He does not leave us comfortless.

This was one of those moments where I could choose to live in sorrow and have the pity party. Or I could control what I could control and live the life that was planned for me. Obviously I wasn’t perfect and I had my moments where I needed to be held up by my Father in Heaven, but this time was different.

I was open to the spirit and I was willing to be taught.

I don’t recall many times in my life where spiritual guidance or revelation has hit me like a light turning on in a dark room besides this once. We made our monthly trip to the temple. During our visit I had really tried to just forget everything going on outside in my life and just listen. Easier said than done. But it was worth it. Like a light turning on in a dark room I felt the love Heavenly Father had for me. I can not adequately explain it but that very simple testimony was exactly what I needed to open my heart even more. 

Heavenly Father LOVES me. And you. He loves all his children.

That small simple testimony started a chain reaction in my discovery of the simple yet intricate plan that Heavenly Father has for us.

June 6, 2017 I walked to the mailbox anxiously awaiting a part to fix my apple watch. Happy to see the part I started my walk back to the house and glanced through the other mail. I was stopped in my tracks when I saw two letters from the first presidency of the church(the prophet). They had arrived two weeks earlier than we had expected. I stopped for a moment and said a small and simple prayer. I was overcome with a sense of peace. I knew no matter what they said I was creating an eternal marriage.

I walked inside, opened the letter and cried. We had received clearance and were able to be sealed in the temple on our one-year anniversary.

Our sealing was amazing. What seemed so far away a year ago, was there in the blink of an eye.

As we walked out of the temple that day I felt a feeling of normality. Stephen and I had walked out of the temple together dozens of times and this one, yes was special, but the feeling not much different.

After spending a wonderful afternoon with family in the mountains everything calmed and I was left to think of that feeling.

Over the course of the next few days I began to realize why it was so normal. From the day I chose to come to this earth I started my eternal story. The temple was a necessary step and covenant (promise) we needed to take in our eternal story but in my opinion, it wasn’t the beginning NOR the ending. From the very beginning we had the potential to have an eternal marriage. The temple makes it possible for an eternal marriage, but it does not create one. As with every prayer, scripture reading, church meeting, service project, blessing, baptism, mission, testimony sharing moment we have in our life we create the potential to be taught, to be blessed, and to become eternal. But in no single moment in time are we checking off our eternal progression on a to-do list.

As I walked out of the temple that day and felt the feeling of normality I was receiving a testimony that as I said before, the temple makes it possible for an eternal marriage, but it does not create one. What creates an eternal marriage is two people putting God at the head of the triangle and working together everyday to return to live with him. “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” (The Family: a proclamation to the world)

I’m grateful to live in a day and age where we have the gospel of Jesus Christ on this earth. I’m grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows me, loves me, and is always helping me to learn and grow. I am so grateful to live in a country where I have the freedom of religion. I am grateful to be a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints where I am taught and encouraged to know for myself that the church is true. I know that we all have the potential to be eternal beings. We are able to choose to live with our families forever. I love my savior Jesus Christ, all of this is possible because of him. I love my Heavenly Father and I know without a doubt he loves, knows, and hears me.

As I was reviewing our sealing photos the picture below caught my eye. I was overcome with the spirit as I saw two of God’s children continuing their eternal journey to become like him and live together forever.

This is my testimony and I share it with you in the name of Jesus Christ.

https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&old=true