Life lessons from: Dates, Baptisms, and Waves

For english we were asked to write a story but look at it with a different perspective this time. What I thought would be a fun lighthearted story turned into so much more.

         Water is swirling around me, I have no idea what way it up or down. Finally after what seems like years my footing is found. I catch me breath, water is everywhere, the worst part, 200 pairs of eyes all on me.  Then he catches my eye, tears are streaming down his cheeks all composure is lost as he yells, “This is the best day ever! The spirit is so strong, my ancestors are here!” By this point I’ve come to terms with it, my social life is over and I might as well move to Antarctica I’m sure the penguins will accept me.    

With that introduction let me back up a minute to the start. It was a couple months after returning from my mission in Washington DC. I was having a hard time, I would lie awake at night just yearning to go back I was sure nothing could ever be as good as the last 18 months. Then salt was thrown in the wound and I was given a calling to plan a weekly activity at my church. I had really been struggling with the people in the congregation because we didn’t have similar interests, now I was being asks to not only spend a couple hours with them on Sunday but Monday nights as well. To say that I felt like the world was crashing around me is an understatement.  

Mondays would come around and anxiety, that never before in my life had I struggled with, would set in. My stomach would hurt and everything that could go wrong would go wrong. Somewhere in all of this I would find the strength to go suffer through the two hours and come home. The sickness would go away, I would stop shaking, and the week would go on, until Monday came again. The cycle would repeat itself and I would just hold on to the thought that it would all end and for the next six days I would be fine.

Then one day I had had enough. This was going to be the end. No one could make me go, I was done and was never going again. While I decided before I made any crazy decisions I should talk to my parents, (this is where I made the second mistake, the first was accepting the assignment in the first place.) After talking to my parents we had agreed that I would go one more time and if I still felt the same way I could talk with my leaders and pass the assignment on to someone else. There was one condition, I had to go that night and treat it like I was still on my mission. No problem, I can do that easy and I know it won’t change anything.

I got ready, went early, talked and sat by new people and did my best to be a missionary. The night went on and I still felt the same way. I will admit the time did pass a little faster, but I was still set in my ways. At the end of the night we moved into the gym for a game and then it was going to be over. I was going to be done. Excitement was setting in. After the game I planned to crab my cookie and go. I was doing just this as I noticed a girl standing in the corner by herself. The thoughts went through my brain “what would your missionary self do?” and then “all you had to do was attend the activity, the activity is over you can leave.” The next thing I know I’m in the corner talking to this girl. It wasn’t that bad, the conversation ended, she left, and I was again on my way out when I noticed another kid, in another corner, yet again alone.

All of a sudden again I find myself back in the room, in another corner, having another conversation. This one did not go quite the same as soon as I got to the corner he said “Oh hi McKinsey”, I had no idea what his name was. What do you say back to that? Oh hey how are you, insert mumbling lots of names mixed together and hope you don’t notice that I don’t know your name. Luckily I didn’t have to do that. Before I could say anything he said “you have no idea who I am but you’re dad is one of my favorite people and I just really look up to him, he would tell me all about your mission in Washington DC, I also know that you really like BYU, sports, running, and I believe from watching you the last couple weeks you also like the color pink.” At this point I’m sure I’ve backed up a few steps and my face has an expression like what the heck, but it doesn’t end there. He continues, “While it’s been nice talking to you but my mom is here to pick me up, hey would you by chance like to go out with me sometime? Oh and by the way my name is James.” Okay wait your mom is here to pick you up I thought everyone here was over 18. Then the words “would you like to go out with me sometime” ring back in my ears and all I can say is “what?” He doesn’t hear that and just says “I don’t have time to get your number I’ll just get it off the directory. See you soon!”

I felt like I had just gone through a whirlwind on words. I didn’t know what to think or say so I just left. Very excited to go home report to my parents I had done what I was suppose to and had just attended my last activity. Unfortunately I didn’t have time for that because before I had gotten home I had received a text message thanking me for my friendship and asking when a good time to go out would be.  This is where I realized and was sure I had made mistake number three going and talking to him. Again I was for sure done with this.

I get home and was very curious to know who this kid was that knew all about me and was now wanting to take me on a date.  Come to find out he really is a remarkable kid, he has some special needs that can frustrate him but he doesn’t let that stop him. So he really is a great kid just not someone I’m interested in dating. But I was told a lot of girls say no and are pretty mean to him so my heart was softening and I decided to say yes to one date and texted him back. I don’t know how many mistakes I’ve made in this story but this was by far the worst one. This opened the floodgates. I was getting novel texts three or four times a day, being told to make sure I do my hair and make up, waking up and going to bed to texts. It was a bit annoying but it got really bad when I stopped responding and then it wasn’t text messages but it was calls or unexpected visits to my house. No he didn’t come in the house or even knock on the door just walk by a few times and then was on his way.

            The day of the date came and I woke up sicker than I’ve ever been. I still don’t know if it was the fact that I was going to have to go on a date with him or if I was really sick. But I was so sick I had to cancel. This was not good he at first hated me and then was sure I had cancer. If you haven’t noticed there is not middle of the road with him. But have no fear the date was rescheduled.

            I’ve been trying to think of a way to share this that could give justice to the date and the only thing I keep going back to is an email I sent to my friend that night so here it goes.

Hey how are you! I’m just going to just right into my week cause it was eventful!  So this kid asked me on a date a couple weeks ago but the day we were suppose to go was the first day I got really sick so I had to cancel. Well after he freaked out a bit we rescheduled.  So eventually this dreaded date comes and I find out were going to the temple to do baptisms for dead for his ancestors and I’m just like aright that’s okay because you can’t really talk in the temple so it will be great. So we get there and he has no whisper voice so to every temple worker he sees he basically yells, “HEY I’M BAPTIZING HER FOR MY ANCESTORS, MAKE SURE I’M THE ONE BAPTIZING HER!” So basically after 4 or 5 people everyone in the baptistery is watching us, so that’s great. Then we get to the spot where you give them the family names and the lady tells him we can only do 3 a person because it’s so busy and he FREAKS OUT! “MY ANCESTORS HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG AND NO WE CAN’T SPLIT THEM UP BETWEEN OTHER PEOPLE I’VE ALREADY TOLD THEM IT’S MCKINSEY WHO’S DOING THE BAPTISM.” So to get him to be quiet they agree to let me do all 13-girl names. Now let me explain how many people are in the baptistery it’s the Provo temple and it’s Tuesday. I’m pretty sure every student a BYU and UVU are there for temple Tuesday. The entire waiting area is packed and there’s more people standing around the edges (keep in mind the waiting room has big windows that look into the baptistery). In the baptistery there’s only one row on benches but there’s so many people they have it two rows deep, one row standing the other sitting. Once we get in get the whole name situation worked out and changed we sat there for 2 hour just waiting and he is talking to his ancestors the whole time….yes EVERYONE is watching. We finally make it into the baptistery again he has to tell everyone he’s baptizing me. It finally reaches my turn they call my name and next thing I know he’s basically jumping into the font yelling, “I’M THE ONE BAPTIZING HER!!” So we get in position and then I realize he has to weigh and least 50 pounds less than me and I could wrap my hand around his arm twice there is NO WAY he’s going to be able to lift me back up. Yeah this is not going to go well. Then the prayer starts and he says, “Sister………waits another two hours……..Veenker……and I’m not kidding pauses between every word for like 5 minutes. I’m just thinking is this going to happen for 13 names? I’m dying and after a millennium we get to Amen and he places my hand on my back and nothing happens….Then all of sudden BOOM!! He throws me with every fiber of his being into the water. Not just a dunk like a SMACK! It caught me completely off guard. Water is swirling around me, I have no idea what way it up or down. Finally after what seems like years my footing is found. I catch me breath, water is everywhere, the worst part, 200 pairs of eyes all on me.  Then he catches my eye, tears are streaming down his cheeks all composure is lost as he yells, “This is the best day ever! The spirit is so strong, my ancestors are here!” By this point I’ve come to terms with it, my social life is over and I might as well move to Antarctica I’m sure the penguins will accept me. Then to just make everything so much better the recorder says “Brother would it be alright if we had another brother in the font to assist with the baptism process? James without even thinking says “Yea, yea that’d be a great idea!” SO NOW! I’m the fat girl in the baptismal font because I need two people to assist with the baptisms. I’m dying and have reached my humiliation level for my life.

            So that was the date and honestly I’m sure I’ve told the above story at least 2 million times sense then. Honestly what I thought I got out of this was a funny story and a little good feeling that I did something good and helped make someone’s day and in the long run end up breaking there heart but we won’t go there. Looking back on it I got a lot more than that.

            From the first day James blabbed a couple words at me a walked away he was being a bigger person than I was. He was at the activity, was there for the right reasons, and doing the best he could to help me feel good about myself by sharing what he knew to be true about me. When I was sick he was very concerned, maybe a little to concerned, but concerned nonetheless. During the date he was so concerned about helping others he was going to do everything he could to help these people who couldn’t help themselves enter the waters of baptism, even if that meant baptizing a fat girl and lifting more weight then he ever has. But that’s not his fault, he didn’t chose what body he was born with, what he did chose is what he does with it. At this moment in time he was choosing to use it for good, to help others, and accomplish something he had planned and prepared for.

            Through this James taught me a lot of things but after reading and reflecting on the story this time one of the biggest things he taught me was to be humble and ask for help. Through all of this I was being the big bad girl to good for everything. He was being the humble one, willing to talk to anyone, be a friend, be there when needed and sometimes even when not needed. When he knew he couldn’t lift me on his own he was willing to accept help. In fact, he didn’t think twice about it and gladly accepted. In the end the most humiliating day of my life turned into one of the most humbling.

            As for James and I were friends. It took a while to get to that point because he was sure we were eternal companions but anyway last night at our weekly activity, because yes I’m still going, he sang and wrote a song for the senior citizens we were visiting. Does he have the perfect singing voice? No, but is he doing all he can to bring joy to everyone? Yes. As for me I’m still attending those weekly activities almost 6 months later. Still trying to be a missionary but also letting others be a missionary to me. It’s interesting to look at life and see some of the moments you hope you’ll forget in the morning or you think can just be a funny story are actually when we can be taught the most. It just goes to show someone is always looking out for us. The choice is ours to accept or reject what they have to offer. A life lesson can be learned from each and every person we come in contact with.